Friday, March 27, 2009

It is Only ONE Night

Lately Jake and I have been trying to get a vacation planned for just the two of us so we could have some special one on one time. I really want to get away with my honey, but I have been really concerned about how well emotionally I will be being away from Tori for a few nights at a time, and possibly hours away from her as well.
You got to understand I cried when I nursed her for the very last time, and I miss her even when she takes naps. When she stared to sleep in her own room I even shed a few tears, and worried about her. I don't think I love my child anymore than any good mother but I love being physically close to her, and when I am in a new situation where I am a little less close to her it is hard for me. I miss her terribly, doubt that I am good mother, and can only think of her well being. Ugh.
To test the waters for our upcoming vacation I am having Tori spend the night with Jake's mother tonight. I know she is good hands, and she will have fun. However it only took me seconds after Tori was out the door to start crying and wanting to take back my suggestion to have Tori spend a night away. Jake comforted, and then I took a long nice hot bath.
I'm still sad but I think I'll be okay. It is only one night, and spending one on one time with Jake will be great.


Loyd said...

this post reminds me of the first time you left tori with me and angela for a few minutes. i think you and jake went shopping. you were so shaken up and jake had to practically pull you outside.

Laine said...

how did it go Sylvia? i can gets easier with each kid, so, just tell jake that when you have your fourth child you'll have no problem going away for one night. ;0 sean is patiently waiting for our baby to turn five so we can go away for two nights. (No, it's not that bad, just almost)